wit & shit
not literal shit, and not a whole lot of wit either
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- he barely speaks english, despite having been in the u.s. for daaaaays. this is a key point, because talking to him would generally end in frustration/disappointment because…
- he’s pretty fucking dumb. i like the upper hand, am i right, ladies? lolol
- gives me an excuse to work on my beloved russian accent/visit ruska!
- plays for the caps/my boys. i will make all of them my best friends and bake them cakes forever and ever amen.
- he’s fucking beautiful. sorry his face is kinda busted, but he plays hockey! getting hit is part of the job description, and i don’t hate it. in pictures he has a tendency to look like a beast, but in person, this man is a beautiful creature that warrants staring.